Starting over...

So...we're back at cycle day one. Now we start all over and think positive thoughts! If this month doesn't work either I may consider scheduling a consult with a doctor again. Let's hope that's not going to be needed though!

I think I'm out...

I know she's coming, that unfriendly Aunt Flow! I can feel the pressure she puts on my back and the weight gain to the midsection has started. I'm holding out hope that she doesn't show up too early since she shouldn't be arriving for another five days. However, with symptoms already showing I know it won't be long. Also, I gave into my pee on a stick urge this morning only to have it confirmed that we are not pregnant this month. So, let's move onto next month! It has to be a better month since Jace, my mom and I will be having our birthdays. Here's hoping we can bring in a baby before 2008 ends!!!

Waiting for results now...

A nurse from my midwife's office called yesterday to say she didn't have the progesterone results because the wrong test was ordered. The midwife accidentally chose a prolactin test. The good news is my prolactin levels are good and I will find out Friday what my progesterone level is.

Just waiting...

I've been through this wait hundreds of times and I should feel like giving up, but I don't! I'm sure we didn't conceive this cycle because Will and I were both a little ill and some nights I was too tired. However, I still feel the need to hold onto to some hope until Aunt Flow shows up. I've been really hungry lately and have had some cramping which most normal people would view as a positive but my body enjoys playing tricks on me! When we had our miscarriages last year my body started doing really strange things. I will have almost every symptom of being pregnant, but then A.F shows up. After ovulation I have this intense sense of smell, cramping, and sore breasts. This cycle hasn't really produced anything except the cramping. I'll take that as a sign for now but I'll hold off on testing a little longer. I haven't heard what my progesterone level came back as so I'll place a call to my midwife today.

The TWW!

Secondary infertility is not something I ever imagined we would be experiencing after such a wonderful pregnancy with Jace. But we're here and now the journey begins...

Alright, the two week wait (TWW) is where we are now. That would be the period of time from ovulation until my next period should start. The TWW is more like torture than a wait. I will spend the next two weeks obsessing over every little twinge, cramp or weird sensation until I give into my urge to finally pee on a stick to see if I may a little bit pregnant (as if there is such a thing). This method never seems to work out in my favor, but I hope soon it will.

We are not currently using any fertility drugs and I hope we won't have a need to. We were taking progesterone supplements for a few months. The side effects are awful though so we stopped for a while. I gained about 8 pounds after I started taking them and this paired with a brief feeling of intoxication after taking the pill wasn't working out well for me. I have a blood draw planned for Monday to see how my progesterone level is without the medication if this turns out well I may not need to take the medication.

I really hope this blog will be short lived and we can soon report that we are pregnant again! I want nothing more than to have one more chance at creating a child and when that happens I will be the most ridiculous pregnant woman to walk the earth. This journey has taught me that you can't expect something to happen just because you want it to. Being the control freak that I am, this is a difficult lesson for me to learn. I hope you'll enjoy following me through this and sharing in my happiness in the end!