Pain in the ...back!?!

Okay~ this is just for those of you actually interested in our boring conception issues!
I somehow hurt my back yesterday and it's so painful to even walk. I'm taking something to try to make it more comfortable but as always, this (meaning yesterday and today) is the time I should be ovulating. Let's just say baby making isn't really going to work out well with me right now! I'm pretty sure god is punishing me for something!!!

Waiting...

Do I think we timed it right this month? NO! I have a feeling we missed it again. We just have too many life issues that get in the way. We had a few late nights meaning we didn't get to bed until 2am and then a night out with Nate and Kelsey. All these things add up to missed opportunities. I've asked Will if he's ready for artificial insemination and he's finally agreed that if we really try on our own until December and it doesn't happen, then he will be up to exploring AI. We'll see how it goes I guess. I just feel like AI will take all the guess work out of it. I'm not getting any younger and the fact that my mom had a total hysterectomy at the age of 30 is really starting to worry me. I really need this to happen soon!

Failed...

Another bad month! We are getting really good at not getting pregnant, huh? I really wanted to go at it full force this month and have a good surprise for Will on our anniversary but obviously failed. Instead of a good surprise to share I had to break the bad news that I started my cycle on our anniversary. So no baby making on our anniversary trip, sorry honey! I ruined this month by having another passing out episode around ovulation time. This time I passed out at the gym, how embarrassing! We actually made an attempt at conception prior to passing out but after I passed out I had no energy for a few days and I'm pretty sure that's when it mattered most. Oh well! I've come to accept that this baby business may not happen again for us and Will doesn't really want to explore the option of artificial insemination until we try the natural way a lot more. I can understand his reasoning but when life happens and natural conception isn't happening, I would really like to see some results one way or another. I have even started sorting through Jace's baby clothes in hopes of feeling less pressure to make a baby, but in the end it really only makes me want it more. After oohing and awing over all the cute baby stuff I only want a baby more and end up feeling more frustrated. Let's hope school will take my mind off of the baby efforts and thus make it happen!

Big shocker!

Not pregnant again...well for last month anyway. Let's hope our attempts work out better this month. Hey, my parents conceived me on the 4th of July...who knows!

We tried!

I can say we honestly tried to make it work this month but our attempts failed. I was so busy with my friends wedding that I only gave into my pee on a stick urge once. It was 4 days prior to the expected arrival of my period but said negative and that was enough for me to let myself enjoy a few drinks. So now onto next month!

Signs...

I'm always looking for some sort of sign that this will be THE month. It doesn't work out obviously but here I go anyway. So, I started this cycle on May 27th and IF I can get pregnant this month I would be due the same time as Jace's birthday. We'll give it all we have again and see if it works!

A friend of mine once asked why I was hoping to get pregnant knowing that my due date would be shared with some other important event. I guess it just gives me some sort of hope that it will happen and it would be that much more special. Of course having a baby on any day of the year would be special but for some reason I just look forward and think that just because it's Jace's birthday (or any other event I can think of) I'm more likely to have it happen. I don't know! One day I'll stop being crazy...maybe.

Ending April...

So today a new cycle starts...yeah! (Now read it with some sarcasm) Every month I tell myself I'm going to do whatever it takes to get pregnant and every month I continue to let myself down. So this month I WILL try harder! I want this pregnancy so bad and I'm tired of waiting.

Our approach to this infertility thing has been pretty conservative since our insurance doesn't cover fertility issues. However, if we seriously try for a few more months and nothing happens I may give in and see another fertility doctor. We did visit a fertility clinic about 9 months ago but some of the things they were doing seemed somewhat pointless. We did a couple of ultrasounds to make sure I was ovulating. The ultrasounds ended up being done a few days too early and resulted in me using ovulation prediction kits at home. So I could drive 1 1/2 hours for an ultrasound that costs about $120 each visit or pee on a stick at home costing about $3...hmm!?! They also didn't give us much guidance when we didn't conceive. I was kind of thinking they would present some sort of game plan and was disappointed that they didn't. So, we'll try on our own a little longer and hope that works!

Bad timing...

As I wrote in our family blog, I attempted to go for a run this morning but my efforts failed. I usually try to avoid running during the two week wait just in case I could be pregnant. So since I'm blogging about some desire to go for a run, let's just take that as a sign that I'm probably not pregnant again this month. I really could have tried harder and Will will be the first to agree to that! I'm just so tired after working and not getting home until 11:30 at night. I really need to quit this job so I can feel normal again. I did request an additional day off every week starting in May. Let's hope that leaves a little more time for baby making!

I will hope that maybe I've ovulated a little later and keep up hope that this could be the month! So next week I may start the horrible progesterone supplements again! UGH!!!