I'm back...

Obviously, I don't have any good news to share. Our efforts have been minimal considering how busy we've been through the holidays and starting school. We're still hopeful though! Okay, maybe Will is, I'm not so much. I have about 1 week until I start my next cycle. Yes, I'm sure it's coming because I have absolutely no pregnancy symptoms. I am, however, bummed that I'll have my cycle twice this month for some reason. Fun times!

My body...

First, I did take a test only to have a negative result reminding of what a long journey this has been. It also occurred to me today that I absolutely have this love-hate relationship with my body that I thought I'd share.

I hate that my body...
-could not hold onto the babies I wished for so badly.
-can't seem to function properly to carry a child again.
-seems to have a mind of it's own.

I love that my body...
-can produce such an amazing miracle.
-allowed me to see what being a mom is all about.

(Now sobbing)
I will forever be thankful for being able to experience pregnancy and having such an amazing child. I only wish I could have one last chance to completely cherish being pregnant and allow Jace the experience of being a big brother. It's has been 1 1/2 years since our last pregnancy and I'm losing hope that we will ever get pregnant again. I'm so frustrated right now!

Wait and see...

Who knows if our attempts worked this month, let's hope they did though. I don't really feel any different compared to other months but it's a bit early to start noticing any changes. I did ovulate a little later than I was hoping for and that could be the reason we don't conceive this month. So, just a few more weeks to go and we'll see what the verdict is.

Time to get serious!

Woohoo! I just placed an order for Pre-Seed and 12 ovulation prediction kits. As soon as I receive my order we're getting serious about baby making! I'm getting too old and Jace wants a sibling so we can't keep hoping we get it right. Plus, this month was a horrible month for trying to conceive so we really need to give it all we've got for the rest of the year.

FYI:Pre-Seed acts like your own cervical mucus and helps the little swimmers get where they need to be.

Pain in the ...back!?!

Okay~ this is just for those of you actually interested in our boring conception issues!
I somehow hurt my back yesterday and it's so painful to even walk. I'm taking something to try to make it more comfortable but as always, this (meaning yesterday and today) is the time I should be ovulating. Let's just say baby making isn't really going to work out well with me right now! I'm pretty sure god is punishing me for something!!!

Waiting...

Do I think we timed it right this month? NO! I have a feeling we missed it again. We just have too many life issues that get in the way. We had a few late nights meaning we didn't get to bed until 2am and then a night out with Nate and Kelsey. All these things add up to missed opportunities. I've asked Will if he's ready for artificial insemination and he's finally agreed that if we really try on our own until December and it doesn't happen, then he will be up to exploring AI. We'll see how it goes I guess. I just feel like AI will take all the guess work out of it. I'm not getting any younger and the fact that my mom had a total hysterectomy at the age of 30 is really starting to worry me. I really need this to happen soon!

Failed...

Another bad month! We are getting really good at not getting pregnant, huh? I really wanted to go at it full force this month and have a good surprise for Will on our anniversary but obviously failed. Instead of a good surprise to share I had to break the bad news that I started my cycle on our anniversary. So no baby making on our anniversary trip, sorry honey! I ruined this month by having another passing out episode around ovulation time. This time I passed out at the gym, how embarrassing! We actually made an attempt at conception prior to passing out but after I passed out I had no energy for a few days and I'm pretty sure that's when it mattered most. Oh well! I've come to accept that this baby business may not happen again for us and Will doesn't really want to explore the option of artificial insemination until we try the natural way a lot more. I can understand his reasoning but when life happens and natural conception isn't happening, I would really like to see some results one way or another. I have even started sorting through Jace's baby clothes in hopes of feeling less pressure to make a baby, but in the end it really only makes me want it more. After oohing and awing over all the cute baby stuff I only want a baby more and end up feeling more frustrated. Let's hope school will take my mind off of the baby efforts and thus make it happen!