Big shocker!

Not pregnant again...well for last month anyway. Let's hope our attempts work out better this month. Hey, my parents conceived me on the 4th of July...who knows!

We tried!

I can say we honestly tried to make it work this month but our attempts failed. I was so busy with my friends wedding that I only gave into my pee on a stick urge once. It was 4 days prior to the expected arrival of my period but said negative and that was enough for me to let myself enjoy a few drinks. So now onto next month!

Signs...

I'm always looking for some sort of sign that this will be THE month. It doesn't work out obviously but here I go anyway. So, I started this cycle on May 27th and IF I can get pregnant this month I would be due the same time as Jace's birthday. We'll give it all we have again and see if it works!

A friend of mine once asked why I was hoping to get pregnant knowing that my due date would be shared with some other important event. I guess it just gives me some sort of hope that it will happen and it would be that much more special. Of course having a baby on any day of the year would be special but for some reason I just look forward and think that just because it's Jace's birthday (or any other event I can think of) I'm more likely to have it happen. I don't know! One day I'll stop being crazy...maybe.

Ending April...

So today a new cycle starts...yeah! (Now read it with some sarcasm) Every month I tell myself I'm going to do whatever it takes to get pregnant and every month I continue to let myself down. So this month I WILL try harder! I want this pregnancy so bad and I'm tired of waiting.

Our approach to this infertility thing has been pretty conservative since our insurance doesn't cover fertility issues. However, if we seriously try for a few more months and nothing happens I may give in and see another fertility doctor. We did visit a fertility clinic about 9 months ago but some of the things they were doing seemed somewhat pointless. We did a couple of ultrasounds to make sure I was ovulating. The ultrasounds ended up being done a few days too early and resulted in me using ovulation prediction kits at home. So I could drive 1 1/2 hours for an ultrasound that costs about $120 each visit or pee on a stick at home costing about $3...hmm!?! They also didn't give us much guidance when we didn't conceive. I was kind of thinking they would present some sort of game plan and was disappointed that they didn't. So, we'll try on our own a little longer and hope that works!

Bad timing...

As I wrote in our family blog, I attempted to go for a run this morning but my efforts failed. I usually try to avoid running during the two week wait just in case I could be pregnant. So since I'm blogging about some desire to go for a run, let's just take that as a sign that I'm probably not pregnant again this month. I really could have tried harder and Will will be the first to agree to that! I'm just so tired after working and not getting home until 11:30 at night. I really need to quit this job so I can feel normal again. I did request an additional day off every week starting in May. Let's hope that leaves a little more time for baby making!

I will hope that maybe I've ovulated a little later and keep up hope that this could be the month! So next week I may start the horrible progesterone supplements again! UGH!!!

Hahaha!

Well as some sort of cruel joke my period was late by 5 days and just happened to start right on April 1st! What the hell!?!
I desperately hope that we stay free of illness the next few months so we can make some sort of normal attempt at conceiving. I don't intend for it to appear that we are in some sort of rush to conceive, but in a way we are! We aren't getting any younger and while it's true that Will can produce children up until the day he dies, the same isn't true for me. I'm starting to worry that if this takes much longer I may not be able to create a child. I know, I know...I'm not even thirty yet but it's really not that far away either. It took us five years to conceive Jace and another two years between Jace and our losses. Of course we weren't actively trying during the entire time but most people not using contraceptives seem to not have such a long wait. Maybe if Will gets fired and we end up on welfare I'll get pregnant! Hahaha!

Just checking in...

I'm finally feeling better! I think I started to feel "normal" again about a week ago. I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to feel well again after being ill for so long. I had a head scan Friday and will know the results this Thursday. I'm sure everything will be fine, but it will be interesting to see the results.

So, I'm sure this won't be our month to conceive either. That means we won't be welcoming a baby in 2008! :( I'm a little sad about that...okay, maybe a lot sad! I just wish this wasn't taking so long. I'm not getting any younger!

I probably won't have anything to post until next month so check back later!

Sick and tired!

This week has been absolutely horrible and I'm tired of feeling sick. I started feeling a little sick on Wednesday, nothing too bad though. Thursday morning I woke up and felt a little "off" and ended up passing out and hitting the dining room table. Will, Jace and I spent the better half of a day in the ER. Thank goodness they didn't find anything wrong with me but that doesn't make me feel confident that it won't happen again either. After leaving the ER I was instructed to go to an Internal Medicine Clinic to have a Holter monitor placed to wear for the next 12-24 hours. The results of that were fine too! Saturday I had one more slight fainting episode resulting in me lying on the tile bathroom floor leaving me with a minor bruise to my chin and cheek. So, I'm still sick and feel awful! My whole body just feels exhausted! I want to feel better so badly since I should be ovulating in 5 days or so. I know if I don't get well soon this month will be another failure!